At various stages of my life, I have as a woman, adored the day when cupid offered both a secret admirer the opportunity to slip out of the shadows and reveal himself, and the excitement and kudos of receiving mystery cards and gifts. Equally, however, I have hated it and observed the madness with a more cynical eye, wondering why romance can't take place all year round and not just once a year - to be honest though, these feelings usually arose when I was seemingly the only girlie in the world not to have an admirer!
To try to make sense of this, now commercial, festival and help us create a new meaning for the day we must start at the beginning. So, let's look into the real history behind Valentine's Day, and see if together we can re-capture some of the essence that once was…
There are many stories of how this celebration started, too many to mention, and each version seems to be a mixture of history, tradition and hearsay.
One version stems from a pagan celebration, the 'Feast of Lupercalia', where Roman shepherds paid homage to their God, Lupercus. On the 15th February each year the shepherds would gather to praise Lupercus in the hope that he would protect their flocks. At the same time a great celebration was held in honour of Juno, wife of Jupiter and Queen of the Gods and Goddess of women and wedlock. During this fertility festival, women would write billets, known to us as love letters, and leave them in an urn. The men of Rome would then take it in turns to draw a note from the urn then ardently pursue the woman who wrote the message for the coming year; the couples would also exchange gifts.
As the Church became more influential this pagan festival, along with many others, was stopped. But the Romans where still keen on the idea of the annual love lottery, and continued this part of their tradition. In a final attempt to stop the love lottery, Pope Gelasius in 496A.D. changed the 15th into a day to honour Saint Valentine. To further sever all remaining connections he then moved Saint Valentine's Day, as it was now known, back a day to the 14th of February, which was the alleged day of Valentine's execution (see below). Citizens were now encouraged to use the lottery to pick out a Saint's name and to emulate that Saint for the following year.
Despite the best efforts of the Church's, this Saintly Lottery didn't capture the imagination of the people and Valentine's Day still echoed Lupercalia in at least one respect - the love lottery. This appears to have continued well into the eighteenth century. Gradually, however, a shift did take place. No longer did both parties exchange gifts; instead, gift-giving became the sole responsibility of the man! (Hurrah … I hear you cry!) It's no surprise then that this is where the traditional-style lottery came to an end. Many men were unhappy about having to give gifts (often expensive) to women they were not attracted to. Instead, freedom of choice came into play and the 14th February became more like the Valentine's Day that we know today.
Some experts insist that pagan festivals had nothing to do with the creation of this day. They say that it originated from the death, and subsequent martyrdom, of a Roman priest named Father Valentine who is said to have been executed on the 14th February 269AD by Emperor Claudius II. At this time Rome was under attack by many rebel factions and the unpopular Emperor was finding it increasingly difficult to recruit new soldiers to sustain his dwindling army. He decided the main reason for his recruitment problems was the increase in Christian marriages. He reasoned that once married, men would not want to leave their families to fight in battles, so he passed a decree that outlawed marriage and cancelled all engagements. Father Valentine refused to submit to this new law and continued to perform secret ceremonies. When he discovered the loving priest's activity Claudius immediately arrested him and tried to convert the priest back to the pagan way. In return the priest tried to convert the Emperor to Christianity, neither succeeded and Valentine, a kind and wise man that had many friends, was condemned to death by club beating and decapitation. His friends vainly begged Claudius to free him and sent the Father many letters and flowers. Many think these were the first "Valentine" letters and flowers ever sent.
Another school of thought suggests that Valentine was actually a Roman citizen who was martyred for refusing to denounce his Christian faith. Legend has it that during his incarceration he healed the sight of the jailer's blind daughter through the power of his faith and they fell in love. Before his execution, he sent her a farewell note signed "From Your Valentine."
Back in England a popular theory of how Valentine's Day was first linked with romance, is through Chaucer and his dream poem ' The Parliament of Fowls' which he apparently wrote to honour the engagement between Richard II and Anne of Bohemia. In this medieval period it was believed that birds chose their mates on February 14 and it is with this in mind that Chaucer based his ode. He wrote: "For it was on St Valentine's Day, when every fowl cometh to choose his mate." Chaucer was not the only one to make this connection, Shakespeare also made mention of it in 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'. Theseus awakes the lovers in the woods and asks, "Good morrow, friends. Saint Valentine is past: Begin these wood-birds but to couple now?"
Superstitions have also sprung up around the bird theme. Apparently, If you spot a goldfinch, you will marry a millionaire. If a robin flies overhead, you will marry a sailor. If you see a sparrow, you will marry a poor person; but be very happy. Alas to see a single crow…it's a wedding of woe
So, with all this in mind, what should Valentine's Day really be about in these modern times?
Looking back on past Valentine Day rituals I am not sure I'd be keen on the revival of any of them. The Love Lottery idea could mean you end up with someone completely unsuitable for a whole year! However, it does have its merits, for one thing no one would ever be alone on the 14th. The option of picking a Saint for the year would not such a bad idea if it meant that people started to care more and fight less, I doubt it would help locate a suitable partner though. So then there is the bird superstition… although it's a nice idea that if you spot a goldfinch you will marry a millionaire, with my luck… relying on this option would mean that a single crow would follow me around all day, so I think I will give it a miss.
Personally, I think we should move forward not back, looking at the world today it is clear to see that although we all have excessively busy lives, love and romance is still something we crave. I am a firm believer that there is a Mr or Mrs Right out there for everyone; it's finding them that's the problem. Nowadays there are many ways to search, be it on-line dating, speed dating or simply having an active social life. However, I feel that one great big opportunity is currently being missed - Valentine's Day. So, don't just wish someone a Happy Valentine's Day, declare your love and make sure a happy Valentine's Day is had by one and all. If everyone, male and female, stopped worrying about embarrassment and sent a Valentine card or loving gift to that special person they secretly fancy, who knows, there may be fewer singletons searching for a mate and the new age of people saying 'I hate Valentine's Day' banished forever. For those of you who are lucky enough to have found the right one, remember, never, never take them for granted, using Valentine's Day to bring fresh romance to your relationship and re-light a dwindling fire can make the rest of the year so much more fun! So what are you waiting for, make sure that you don't miss out on your chance to connect this Valentine's Day.
